Words are wonderful things, aren't they? The power of the perfect word spoken at the perfect time; the power of the perfect word spoken at the wrong time; the power of the wrong word spoken at the perfect time; the power of the wrong word spoken at the wrong time. Words have such an emotional impact, an impact that the deliverer cannot control.
As a deliverer and a receiver of words, I can attest to the paralyzing constraints of my vocabulary. What is the best way of telling someone at work that because of their lack of dilligence, those of us on the next shift were screwed? Or how when you are bursting with so much love for your daughter that you need to tell her how beautiful and wonderful she is. How do you do this without her thinking you are just saying that because you think the opposite is true? How do you say the things that need to be said?
If you are like me, you avoid the co-worker, but continue to wreak havoc on your daughter's psyche. Because she is so important to you, you keep hammering away trying to find the perfect words to let her know what you are feeling. And for some reason, I need to have my daughter know; to Know with a capital "K"!
Then there are the words you should say, the hard ones. Those are the one's that need to be chosen wisely but come too late because you either let too much time pass away silently or you filled that silence with words that are the antithesis of wise. Words that come from that primitive part of your brain where the seven-year-old you is in control. I am very wise at night as I lay in bed and cuddle all the mis-steps of the day. It is then that I try to empty that bucket of remorse and fill it with those perfect words that are just out of my reach. And if I do snag one of those elusive creatures, it rarely stays in my bucket until morning. That is when I go primitive.
So, I now find I that I often opt out for silence and search for perfect words in solitude. But silence is sometimes the perfect word.
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